Basic manners?

Am I crazy, or is it unreasonable to ask that when someone asks for a favor, they include the word "please" in their first request, and that they say "thank you" right away when you complete the favor or perhaps even before? Apparently my husband does not understand this concept. Today he was working on the TV computer and asked me to bring him his glasses but didn't say please (typical scenario). I said "...please" and went to get them. Andrew was in the kitchen preparing dinner and I said for both of them to hear, Nick expects other people to say please but doesn't say so himself. Naturally he took offense and put down what he was doing and was going to leave the room. I stopped him to ask why he was mad and he claimed it wasn't about the please, it was about him trying to do something "for me" (i.e. fixing the sound so the show I am taping later won't be silent) and he couldn't get any help from me. I pointed out that I DID get his glasses and that wasn't the point.

I reminded him that when the kids ask for something and don't say please he often adds the "please" on for them right away. So after he stewed a while (and me being upset, of course) he grudgingly admitted that he should do what he expects the kids to do. That's not really good enough for me, but I accepted it. However, near the end of the Mythbusters episode, I had to go help Julie with an issue with potato peelings stuck in the garbage disposal (I told Andrew to come down and get them out of there) and then help her with other various dishwashing stuff since she doesn't know my preferences and wasn't the dishes person when she lived here before. Nick watched the end of the episode himself, without pausing it for me, then he turned everything off and went upstairs for his typical "sulk nap".

I am just tearing my hair out. We'd been getting along fairly well since our argument when he got back from Baltimore but he just keeps doing the same old rude, self-centered, controlling stuff he has always done and I just can't stand it. If I could talk to him and get him to understand it would be one thing but he doesn't. He just is too unreasonable.

Well, guess I'll try to find stuff to do to take my mind off things. I have plenty of computer work to do as usual and maybe before it gets too late I'll go get some ice cream or something. I swear, if this marriage ends up falling apart, I am DONE with men for the forseeable future other than maybe casual dating and companionship. I need to be ME and surround myself with people who actually have common sense and compassion for other people.

Oh, and my upper body is in pain today, no clue why except my arm started hurting last night and the pain just spread since then. I don't feel sick otherwise and I did take some Ibuprofen earlier but maybe I need to buy more, that stuff was kind of old and I still hurt. :-(